There are movies that people latch on to in the realm of trash films. Some become trendy and are considered "The Best Bad Movie Ever." First of all, that will always go to "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Anybody who thinks different, you are wrong. Just saying. A close second, in fact a very close second, is "Troll 2" (Note: I will never review those two movies. Too much has already been said about both). There is a mystery for some of us though, what came before? What crazy movie inspired our first trip to Nilbog*.
It turns out it is another wonderfully brilliantly bad film filled with its own cheesy moments and bad dialog for people to love it all the same. Is it as bad? Nah... But it is a fun movie in its own right.
I will answer everybody's major first question: Is this really connected to "Troll 2"? Sadly, the answer is "No." (At least until I write "Troll 1 1/2: Seth's Quest To Nilbog") The interesting thing is that there are a handful of actual things that could easily be connected. So it isn't hard to see why the distributors wanted to name it Troll 2.
The story of the first one centers around a family, the Potters. The family consists of Wendy Anne (daughter), Anne (mother) and, I shit you not about the names I'm going to say, Harry and Harry Jr. They have just moved in to a new apartment building. In the basement, is a troll who takes over Wendy Anne and makes her a horrible beast who turns each room and resident into a fantasy world and makes Julia Louis-Dreyfuss' clothes disappear, his greatest trick of all. The only person who notices is her brother, Harry Potter. He goes to the landlady who ends up being a witch and basically he has to kick little girl/troll ass.
What ridiculous things may you find? How about a musical number sung by the rejects from the muppet show? No? A little girl yelling "RATBURGERS!" for 5 minutes straight? No? Well, then the strange relationship the small child develops with a mexican midget must do it for you (dude is talented he plays a midget AND a troll king... damn). Throw in some Julia Louis-Dreyfus ass, Harry Potter dancing to the Summertime Blues like my drunk father at his 50th birthday, Sonny Bono playing a playboy who tells the kids to shut the fuck up and you have would could is an extremely fun ride.
It actually comes off as a very poor attempt at an Amblin-esque children's film. There are points that it works too. The initial scene where the Troll lures Wendy Anne down is genuinely creepy and slightly evocative of the scene in "It" where Georgie follows his boat to the gutter.
However, this film just becomes more and more ridiculous as it twists and turns. By the time you get to the witch growing young and finding out that the Troll used to be a king, and not so much a king but her LOVER, you lose it. You have to laugh, there is no other way to deal with it.
Also, let me state, Harry Potter Jr. is a whiney ass bitch like that beloved wizard kid. All he does is bitch bitch bitch and worries. Seriously, it seems unnecessary, until you realize the parents are totally inept. They don't even think twice about the creepiness that their daughter befriened a 40 year old Mexican midget. All they do is offer him some wine and let him in. Now, I know I shouldn't really be commenting on parenting skills but really... THE FUCK?!
This movie is definitely a lot of fun. Luckily for you, the only way Troll 2 comes packaged right now is on a doubledisk with Troll 1. So you get both great movies for the price of 1. Seriously, check this out. If it is just for the funny celebrity cameos... and Julia Louis-Dreyfus' ass... Did I mention that?
* My spell check keeps wanting me to change "Nilbog" into "Goblin." I don't get why... wait a minute. Nilbog... is Goblin... spelled backwards... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!
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